I have more than One child…
I feel compelled to respond to this (I hope) tongue in cheek blogpost.
It starts off great.
When we are pregnant with our first it is a self-centred experience. People gush, we have time to ponder and enjoy. We have time to think, read, absorb copious amounts of misinformation and feel like we are the world expert on all things baby, and well prepared. We got this - we are afterall the only pregnant and birthing woman ever. In these modern times, the baby we first birth is more often than not the first newborn we have met and the first birth we have been apart of. This is usually true for our birth partner too (whether it is the father or someone else important we choose).
And as the blogpost states:
When you have your first child, you become the center of the universe. No one has ever had a baby before, this is the most important event in the history of the world.
And yet…for many woman, this all encompassing experience leaves them feeling void in some way.
The rest of the blog kind of highlights the fall from grace that seems to be the stereotype of Motherhood. In part, because our first pregnancy is all about our first birth (though, let’s be honest - how many first births do you know of that had an Informed Birth Plan), and having a BABY. All the cute little products and tiny booties and outfits. Sure we ponder on what our child will become but rarely do we consider the reality of the toddler-adult years, save to egotistically declare that Our Child will neeeeever…..or I am looking forward to all the activities I will do with my child…
"You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who’ve never had any.” - Bill Cosby
The blog goes on to suggest that we kind of ‘give up’ when it comes to the second, and throw the towel in by the third. We descend into the chaos and frumpiness that is motherhood and lose all sense of ourself as we continue to add to our brood.
This is where I beg to differ. No tongue in cheek and my feet firmly planted on my soapbox.
Motherhood is a Life. Motherhood is an Identity. Motherhood is raw, instinctual and - in this modern world - difficult.
It is difficult because of expectations. Ridiculously and unattainable expectations heaped on us by a society that has devalued motherhood, sexualised children and institutionalised life.
And it begins well before we are pregnant.
There are women who are breaking free from this stigma, embracing Motherhood and all it encompasses and claiming it back. Biological Feminism is a Thing.
These women have learned that birth is not a medical event, but a normal and life changing event. They understand that how we give birth matters. Who supports us matters. And that motherhood is not something to be done in isolation.
Be Informed and Live your Life - YOUR WAY.
You ARE a Mother.
and that Matters.